DAY 2

EDINBURGH (Lothian, SCO)

Saturday August 30th, 2008
TODAYS MILEAGE – 0 miles or 0 kilometres
TRIP MILEAGE – 11625 miles or 18709 kilometres


Well, it's Day 2 of this lunacy I've called the 2008 Culture Vulture Tour.

As the Holiday Inn Edinburgh – City West only has a 2:00PM check in, it was decided to head over to public resting house of food & beverages for an adult refreshment. Who would have thunk it? 3 boofhead blokes, a "Snap Frozen Yank (Canadian)" – Jungle, the "Tartan Terrorist of the Tipple" (Scotsman) – Derek and yours truly, the "abOriginal Master of Disater" down at the local, blowing the froth of a couple of coldies???

As luck would have it, the main bar of pub was closed for a wedding function, so the sign on the door informs us to "head around the front of the pub, to the side door" for a pint. Now I know that us Aussies, Canucks and Scots speak the same language– English, but what do you do with directions that state, head around to the front to use the side door? While Jungle and I thought it was a seceret code for Scottish pub admission, primarily to see if you were a local, Derek fully understood what they meant ..... I can see we're going to have fun asking directions around here.

My pint went down quicker than a 2 dollar crack ho, but due to the aformentioned self inflicted head injuries, Jungles and Dereks heart starters looked to have bones in them, judging by how long it took them to put them down. Fair dinkun, you could have timed them with a sun dial. It might have simply been that they were overcome with the history and architecture of the old pub. Yeah, that was it, me thinks.

As Derek was primed for his adult horizontal folk dancing classes, he dropped us off out or digs, perched upon a hill that looks down over Edinburgh itself on over to Edinburgh Castle. It'd be a great photo........ if it wasn't so dark, grey & gloomy outside.

In the few hours I've been on the ground here, I've been struck by how expensive it is here. Derek had to fill up his car on the way over and it cost him $2.52AUD per litre or $8.20USD per gallon – OUCH!!! We're going to have to keep an eye on the "Middle East Giggle Meter" (i.e. fuel gauge) while we're over here.

Our hotel has a listed "rack" rate of £275.00 ($500.91USD or $583.76AUD) per night. All be it, we are paying the festival rate of £90.00 ($163.93USD or $191.05AUD) per night, but even at those prices, it is considerably more expensive compared to similar rooms & associated facilities I've stayed in around the world.

Internet access in our hotel is another case of sticker shock – £15.00 ($27.32USD or $31.85AUD) per day or £75.00 ($136.61USD or $159.21AUD) per week. I've searched around and there are no free wireless internet hot spots that I can find, but I will find another way, without going broke or to jail.

Just to have a beer can be a bit costly as well. £3.10 ($5.74USD or $6.58AUD) for a pint at the local or £1.50 ($2.73USD or $3.18AUD) for a Heinekin from the supermarket.

Speaking of supermarkets, Jungle and I went in search of an esky (cooler) and adult beverages to fill said impliment of essential entertaining, at the local Sainsbury's supermarket. Now, you'd reckon you'd have a fair amount of choices at your local Albertsons, Krogers or Woolworths and Coles, but you've got nothing on this lot. Aside from groceries, clothing and household items, Sainsbury's also offers thier own automotive & household insurance, banking, loans, credit cards as well as travel services, but the also have branded power and gas services to boot. Talk about the hamburger with the lot outfit.

A couple of the locals thought we were "a wee bit daft" trampsing around Sainsbury's looking for an esky. The general comment was that "it ain't hot enough to require one", but Jungle and I (like most folks like us) simply wouldn't entertain the idea of drinking our beers with a fuckin' teabag. These folks from Great Britian seem to be in need of a bit of education in the simple pleasures of "blowing the froth of a couple of coldies". Maybe, just maybe, we are just the two fellas to put them on the right track in getting on the piss.

We have but three weeks to go forth and prosper with our devine intervention program. It is a serious task, with a great many perils undertaken at considerable personal and financial risk, but we have taken this upon ourselves and we feel Great Britian will be all the better for our efforts, lest our efforts be for nought.

Now if we could just get them off this round ball (soccer) fetish that the are so smitten with, then World peace and understanding women would be simply mere blips on the history of mankind.

Now, for a bit of a reality check. Jungle was IM'ing (Instant Messaging) me on Thursday, when he noticed a news article on his airline Zoom Airlines. In reading the article, Jungle was mortified to see that Zoom had just closed it's doors that very morning, stranding thousands of passengers around the globe.

Luckily for Jungle, the article had a link to Fly Globespan who kindly had made available some seats, for the affected Zoom passengers, on two of it's aircraft. Jungle jumped straight on that and although flying home to Canada a day earlier, he is not out of pocket, unlike the majority of those stranded. We came to find out that by taking Travellers Insurance does not cover you in the event that a service providor goes into liquidation - go figure!!!

So now you know that the internet has another use, other than porn and E–Bay. Could you imagine trundling off on an overseas trip and come back to to the airport to find your airline's busted arse & broke and you have to fork out, there and then, to get a flight home. The luck of the Irish, young Jungle has.

Anyways, enough of today, I'm hitting the fart sack to check the eyelids for holes – later.