BOISE – Idaho, USA

I decided to take a stooge around the local neighbourhoods, to see what was up with new construction in the area. Boise appears to be in an apartment/condo building epidemic as nearly any large block looks to have a minimum 50+ units either under construction or completed, with several of them running in to hundreds in the same development – can you say rabbit warren??

I managed to get a hold of my former roommate Chris and sat down for a feed at Big Jud’s, which was replaced with a larger more user-friendly building – and NO, I did not try one of their 1 or 2 pound burger challenges.

I believe Chris and I spent about 3 years living on separate floors in my West Ashland house, which included a major remodel and various additions both house-wise and personally. I’m sure if your friendship can last a house remodel performed by the homeowner who ropes in the roommate to help, then it’ll last the test of time.

We were joined for lunch by another couple of my former Micron co-workers – Norm Week and Dan Phillips, which resulted in spending couple of hours working out who’s who in the zoo and how many lunatics have taken over the asylum.

The evening was spent down at The Village at Meridian where a couple of great mates of mine – Ian & Jax, and myself parked up at Twigs Bistro and Martini Bar while keeping an eye on their two boys in the playground and updating each other on our respective journeys over the past decade.

BOISE – Idaho, USA

Aside with being entrusted with one of the most important tasks known to mankind – the procurement of a replacement adult beverage fridge, I planned on visiting some of the spot that either had a major influence on me or those in which I regularly visited to see if (a) they are still around and (b) if they’ve changed at all.

First stop for the day was my favourite diner – The Capri in downtown Boise, that’s been around for over 60 years. Not only did the waitress remember me, her face lit up when I walked in. She then sits me down in my favourite booth, places my usual order, fills my coffee and sits down to catch up with all the going’s on over the past decade since I was last in.

Fuelled up on a small serve of Loaded Biscuits & Gravy and caffeine I headed out the door with a big hug and a warmed heart.

Next stop was my old house on 1112 North 7th Street, which was the first one I’d purchased and as my Green Card application was meandering its way through governmental purgatory, I set about renovating it while the “Leader of the Opposition” was off being the major bread winner, making me a kept man of sorts.

From the front of the house, I was chuffed to see quite a few elements that I installed/replaced/updated were still in use, like the exterior trim, front porch French Doors & side light windows, the roofing as well as the front entrance steps. I was saddened to see that they had painted over the original stained doors and interior trim that Ruth and I kept as part of the original features.

The rear of the property on the other hand was like an Andy Warhol painting – all over the road like a mad woman’s shit. It’s undergone several renovations that taken up most of the yard and appear to be poorly planned add-ons that have not been integrated well.

Do I feel any sorrow about what they did to my first matrimonial home – no, it’s the new owners property and as I can’t see it from my house – care factor zero as there is no accounting for taste.

From there it was on to my 3rd Boise home on 7011 West Ashland Street and the only changes since I sold it was that the beautiful big tree out the front was cut down. I caught up with my neighbor Rick and he said the two women owners cut it down because they hated raking up the leaves each Fall. Yeah ….. I know, they own the house, but that pissed me off that they did that for such a petty reason.

I ended the day at Big K BBQ in the company of several of my 43rd State Crimsion Lions team mates. What’s the chances of having a couple of sherbets and throwing around a few “pork pies” with some off your old footy mates???

It was great catching up with likes of Hippo Steve Kubinski, Kush Mark Kush Kubinski, Gunny Scott Carlisle, Vinnie Vincent Spagnolo, Barbie, Ferret Paul C Vines, Opie Scott Reynolds, Shotty and Flamingo Blaine Bergin II.

Got to say, I haven’t laughed that hard & often in ages.

BOISE – Idaho, USA

My morning started at around 3AM and it got me thinking: I’m not 100% sure when I left Boise for Australia – by my reckoning it was a bit over 12 years ago??? I initially packed up and placed all my gear in storage and proceeded to go on walkabout in a 34 foot motor-home for over a year, then returned to ship what I could over to Australia.

This is my roundabout way of saying that I woke up this morning feeling a combination of excitement, trepidation and anticipation in heading to where I’ve called home – one of four that I’ve permanently resided in over my lifetime.

After a chinwag with Bekah (which I’m going to miss BTW), I hit the frog & toad and headed out to the airport which saw me 90 minutes into a 33 minute Google Maps trip. This was due to a combination of a broken down concrete truck on the way and pretty much non-existent freeway sign posting for car rental returns at the tin crow depot.

I check in at the American Airlines counter and copped a $25 USD checked baggage fee which in all fairness I knew was coming, but decided to query it anyways. Looks like most airlines are charging similar fees as their business model looks to be geared to turning over walk-on/walk-off traffic. The lady then says the charge has just gone up to $40 for the 1st, $55 for the second and $120 for a third or subsequent checked bag.

Whilst killing the 2 hours for the scheduled departure, I had 3 gate changes and in doing so – ran into a young female Mormon missionary, returning from service in Peru and waiting for the same flight as me. Not one for missing a recruitment opportunity, she tries engaging my interest and participation in her flavour of faith. I was thinking that I could have so much fun messing with the mind of the 21-year-old second oldest of 5 sisters and about to be born brother.

Instead I just said that I lived in Idaho for ages and am familiar with Momo’s and 7 Day Apprentices and would certainly be interested in any organization that welcomes all comers with open arms – regardless of their sex, race, colour or creed, including beliefs or sexual persuasions.

It was at this point we got on to travel, especially around the areas we both were familiar with in Peru and Idaho.

Interestingly enough she asked me about my age, which I responded to truthfully. She said that her Dad is 46 and I look considerably younger than him. I commented that “his ageing may have to do with having to suffer through ½ a dozen rounds of the Chinese Red Army marching each and every month”. She asked if this was an Australian thing. My response – “Nope, I’m pretty sure it a universal female affliction”. Yeah ….. I know …. couldn’t help myself ….. could I???

I landed on time in Boise and was met with a thick blanket of snow in the foothills and no rental car as Avis was expecting me at 7:30PM. After a quick phone call or two, the attendant comes back with “we have a new Mustang available if that’s OK” to which I responded “as long as I don’t have to throw a saddle on it, I’m fine.” Which she thought was pretty funny.

You’d be thinking at this stage I’d light the fuse on 5 burbling angry litres of Detroit’s finest iron, sink the right foot into 460 horsepower and leave a rear tyre shredding “11 autograph” in heading out onto one of the best highway systems in the world. Nope … quite the opposite actually. I fired up the pony car to get the heater cranked to a more temperate climate controlled environment and sat in the airport car park to call my lawyer Coxy and resolve Saturday’s interaction with I.C.E.

From there it was over to a couple of great mates of mines’ place – Jax & Ian and the evening activities of their 8 and 10 year old boys.

CORINTH – Texas, USA

It’s 4 days into my holiday and I’ve done the first touristy thing so far.

After finding a replacement for my hiking boots, I headed over to Gas Monkey Garage to take a look at where it all started and still continues. The place was made famous due to the TV show Fast N’ Loud, in which Richard Rawlings and his team buy, sell and customize cars while having both that process and their antics filmed.

I was surprised that the first thing that grabs your attention upon arrival – the pungent aroma that smashes your senses. It’s similar to that of overflowing ablutions at a Summer music festival – that’s a week overdue for septic pumping.

Aside from looking through the razor wire topped cyclone fencing at the film crew preparing to shoot the sale of a 60’s Cadillac, the gift shop is about as close as you get to the action – kinda disappointing. The show portrays Richard as being all about the cash, so with branded merchandise like truckers caps for $29.95 – don’t be in any hurry to “Get You Some of That” ….. which he is fond of saying.

Personally I think the show has gone off the boil and lost some of what it had going for it when lead designer and fabricator Aaron Kaufman and custom painter KC Mathieu left the show.

Again I decided to beat the afternoon traffic home and came across a fender bender in the fast lane of opposite traveling traffic that saw that all 5 lanes on that side turned into a car park for 4 miles. There’s the reason right there why I prefer not to live in a big city.

After sorting out a home cooked meal of Chicken Cacciatore accompanied with garlic bread, I got to packing all my gear up to fly up to Boise early in the morning.

CORINTH – Texas, USA

The major aim for today was to finalize a couple of items for the trip: (a) have my camera body and lenses both cleaned & serviced, (b) try and locate a cloverleaf style US power chord for my laptop, thus eliminating the need for a travel adapter and (c) replace Telstra’s piss poor roaming 3G voice & data service.

With the first stop – Archinal Camera Repair Inc, being about 31 miles (50 km) away on the other side of Dallas, I figured that leaving after 8AM, which would pretty much see me miss the morning rush hour traffic. For those of you who’ve travelled I-35 – Central Expressway will know exactly why it’s nicknamed “Central Deathway”. It’s full of bat-shit crazy drivers who view the posted 60 to 75 MPH (97 to 121 KPH) speed limits as an advisory to change gears from 2nd to 3rd.

Admittedly it’s been 10 years since I’ve traversed I-35 on both two and four wheels, but I sure as shit don’t remember so many people – going so far over the speed limit, I was literally being rounded up and stampeded over in some kind of mechanical monster bull-rush. I should also mention that a shit tonne of them were either texting or checking their phones out, putting on makeup or reading documents while hoofing it in & out of traffic.

It took me a couple of Fry’s Electronics stores to track down the electrical cords and I’ve got to say that those stores have deteriorated in both looks and service.

From there it was over to the Stonebriar Centre in Frisco for lunch, where I wandered into B & B News, that advertised as having newspapers for sale. I figured I’d grab a Dallas Morning News to read over lunch, but they don’t sell any papers. What’s wrong with that picture???

After a quick feed I was able to secure a T-Mobile SIM on their ONE Plus plan, which when compared to Telstra’s piss poor 2GB roaming plan that only covers 3 of the 6 countries I’m visiting …….. and I have to manually configure my handset service and hope for the best each time, makes a mockery of Telstra’s “service”.

In using my Social Security # for the first time in over a decade, I was able to procure the unlimited 4G Voice, Text & Data plan that includes HD streaming, 20GB of high speed mobile hotspot data in 210+ countries & destinations, as well as unlimited in-flight data on Gogo-enabled flights to/from/within the U.S.

After trying to enter two similar looking black 2018 Nissan Versa sedans before finding my rental vehicle, I collected my freshly serviced camera gear and not wanting to get stuck in rush hour traffic, I headed back out on the “Thunderdome” raceway that is I-35.

On the way I thought I’d stop at the Bed, Bath & Beyond for a couple of items and in a first for me, all 6 of the bank cards I travel with were declined. You asking why I travel with so many cards – great question.

I travel with two wallets, which have a combination of two driver’s licenses, 3 debit and 3 credit cards, issued by 4 financial institutions, on both the Visa and MasterCard networks. I keep each wallet separate in case one goes missing and in doing so, hopefully eliminate being stuck without a cracker – on a weekend – in a foreign country, as what happened when I landed in Tahiti a few years ago.

It took 1½ hours to sort out – the transactions were not getting to my card providers, as the stores own banking system was declining the cards for no apparent reason. The best part was that I’d haggled them down on the original price for the items and then got another 20% off on the total cost for the inconvenience – win/win all round. I wonder if they’ll do the same deal for me if I replace my Calphalon cookware???

CORINTH – Texas, USA

Thankfully the excitement and drama of yesterday was not repeated, as it turned out to be a laid back and lazy Sunday that culminated in a sit down family dinner.

I trundled off around 9AM and seeing as I was unable to locate an appropriate house of worship on this recognised day of the Sabbath, I decided to go check out how the Denton area had changed in my decade long absence – plenty I might add.

I also had an underlying goal of locating a 3 pin cloverleaf electrical cable, that allows me to recharge my laptop without having the need to use a travel adapter. With this in mind, I ended up at a Best Buy store and in trying to explain what I require, I was looking into the eyes of the young female assistant and looking straight into the back of her head. I’m like I’ve lost this sheila, at which point she says “I’m sorry, I can’t understand you”.

After all these years, I’m pretty confident that English is my first language and as I hadn’t been drinking, I was reasonably assured that I was coherent, but the more I tried explaining, the more confused she seemed to get. What’s the old saying “All English speaking countries are afflicted by same common issue – English!” Rather than exacerbate the problem, thought I’d just let it go and find another supplier.

The afternoon was filled with sorting out the engine powered pressure washer that Bek had borrowed that was severely lacking in servicing, fuel and oil. Sorting all that out and unraveling the collapsed hose caddy then allowed us to spend the best part of a couple of hours removing several years of grime from the paved rear deck

The highlight for me was hanging with the niece and nephew in preparing a couple of side dishes for dinner in which they not only fully participated in, but also said they liked some of the ingredients that they initially screwed their faces up at, when first tasting them.

I had to laugh as both Myah and Mikey are probably thinking “who is this big funny talking boofhead, whose dropped from the skies and is taking up our Sunday afternoon with food prep???

DALLAS – Texas, USA

It’s been a big day on several fronts and I’m hoping bad shit only happens in threes:

Qantas flight QF969 to Brisbane departed ½ an hour late due to the off-loading of 4 police officers. We had the doors closed and about to push back, when the phone rang of the guy sitting next to me – he loudly states “WTF do you mean the weapons didn’t get on?” and then brushes off the cabin crews repeated request for him to get off the phone. He stands up and seeks out the cabin manager, who has now opened the cabin and asks for four passengers by name to de-plane – one of them being the guy seated next to me.

Interestingly enough, the Captain comes on the PA to announce there is going to be a slight delay due to “some last minute document changes”.

In Brisbane, we all get in line to board Qantas flight QF517 to Sydney only to receive the announcement that our 09:05 flight departure is delayed 10 minutes. We receive another announcement that the flight is delayed another 10 minutes, then another 15 minutes, which I took to be incorrect as the piloted had just exited the aircraft and I received a text message from TripIt saying departure was 10:10AM. We eventually take off around 10:30, which gave me less than an hour to go from Kingsford Smith International Airport Domestic terminal over to the International departure gates. I literally walk straight off the transfer bus and up to Gate 9 as boarding for Qantas QF7 was announced.

The flight over to the US was passed with my nose stuck in a decent novel and keeping up my fluid intake in the shape of sparkling mineral water. I’d have to say that this was a marked difference to my very first flight over to Dallas when myself and my new found flight buddy’s in the smoking section of Row 72 of the Northwest Airlines flight across the pond, tried drinking the plane dry of most of its complimentary alcoholic beverages – as you do when young and stupid.

We get off the plane around 1 o’clock, clear through the paperless Immigration points and then come to the stamping of the passport, with the guy asking where I’ve been, where I’m going, do I have anything to declare and then “Have you been arrested in the US”, which I’ve never been asked with all my trips in and out of the US. Being totally honest, I answered “Yes, on suspicion of a DUI in 2000 which resulted in no conviction”. He then asks if I’ve ever been held for secondary screening, to which I reply – no, never. He then asks me to follow him, in which he deposits me into a secured holding area and says the officers may have some follow up questions.

Officer Pearce asks me to step up and asks when I was last in the US, which I thought was back in 2007, but wasn’t sure. He then asks about when I applied for my Electronic System for Travel Authorization (ESTA) Visa waiver program visa. I said I think January (it was July last year), but I wasn’t sure. He makes the comment to his colleague that he “remembers all trips he make out of the US and what documents Ï gathered for those trips.” I responded that I’ve done a fair amount of travel over the past decade, which has involved various governmental agencies, travel companies and vendors, so the details might be a little hazy. He opens my passports, flips through it and says – you do travel quite a lot.

He then asks me about my ESTA Visa Waiver questions, specifically if I answered the questions myself. I said to the best of my knowledge. He asks about what I answered to Question two – I really do not recall what any of the questions specifically ask, but I answered all of them to the best of my knowledge.

The officer then states Question Two as – Have you ever been arrested or convicted for a crime that resulted in serious damage to property, or serious harm to another person or government authority? Again, I respond that to the best of my knowledge the answer would be no. At that point he advises me to take a seat as he needs to get some direction on the matter.

Ol’ mate then gets on the phone for 20 minutes, hangs up and says he needs to come around the security screen to speak with me. I’m thinking I’m fair dinkum going to get a matching set of stainless steel bracelets and get banged up before being punted on the next tin crow out of the Land of the Free – shitting bricks was the term that instantly came to mind.

Officer Pearce says that his call was “escalated to the Washington DC office and they have cancelled your ESTA visa forthwith, as you responded that you had not been arrested, when in fact you had. Furthermore, you will no longer be able to use the ETSA program going forth.” He then goes on to say “he has the discretion to either exclude me from entering the US, or to set the cancellation date of the visa to allow me entry into the country. Either way I will have to visit a US Consulate or Embassy outside of the US to apply to be allowed into the country in the future”.

I said that based on the wording of Question 2 and how he also explained the question to me, I still believe answering No was the correct answer. He then says to me that this looks to be an issue with the respective authorities not filling that there was no charges or convictions recorded. I said I’d follow up with the legal counsel that handled the matter when I get to Boise. I do remember we did have an issue at the time with my insurance as the state of Idaho had not registered the decision – it looks to be clear they still haven’t done the entire job.

I asked Officer Pearce that if he cancels the ESTA when I fly to Mexico on March 27th, how am I going to get back in at the end of the trip, as I was headed back to Dallas and Austin. He said he push the ESTA cancellation out to May 28th and asked me to wait another 10 minutes for him to finalize the amendment on his computer.

He comes back to me and says “do you know what you’re doing with your expired Green Card?” I’m like no, I’m not sure where it is – thinking that he was asking if I returned it. He said that because it’s not been canceled, it’s a simple matter of going through a couple of interviews to get it reinstated if I wanted to and then said I was free to go.

I have to say that the matter was handled in a professional manner and I can see where he was coming from. Officer Pearce’s stance and demeanor softened considerably once the facts were established and it was clear I had no intention of bullshiting anyone and in chatting with him, he seemed a pretty decent bloke, just doing his job.

I get to the empty baggage claim area to find the only bag going round & round on one of the 7 or 8 available carousels, seemingly mocking me that it got through with no dramas – as it went past. As the only person in the Customs Inspection area, you guessed it – I got the full maintenance & service agreement from not one, but two Customs guys, of which one of them was the one who initially deposited me into the secured holding area.

Truth be told, the interaction was all pretty cruizy until they pulled out my visa to Cuba. Officer Reyes asked me about the visa, when I’m going there and from where. I’m thinking – oh shit … again … for the second time in an under hour as I know there is certain restrictions due to the embargoes in place. So like I did with Officer Pearce, I answered him honestly and he says no worries, then goes on to say that he’s never seen an actual Cuban visa and did I know that I can now fly direct to Havana from Miami now.

With that, I was through all airport screening and armed with an Avis Preferred loser cruiser, I was headed to Mike & Beks to catch-up with them and their teenagers Myah and Mikey.

Dinner tonight was at joint that the locals say is famous for its catfish – Smokehouse of Denton. When walking into the joint, us three adults looked like we didn’t make the minimum age for entry by about 30 years. I sure was hoping their Special Of The Day wasn’t puréed or a denture plan.

TOWNSVILLE – Queensland, Australia

Due to Australia’s geographical location, there’s simply no way around the tyranny of distance in trying to get anywhere outside of the Pacific region. We generally fly “hub to hub” in getting to the America’s, Europe or even large parts of Asia for that matter.

For me, the most convenient exit hub out of Australia is Sydney’s Kingsford Smith International Airport, some 1,157 miles (1,862 kilometres) two flights and an hour and a half lay over south from my home in Townsville. Oh, and the irony is not lost on me that I must fly back over from whence I came, in order to get out – the travel God’s have a wicked sense of humour.

This trip to the United States see’s me up at 3AM for my first flight departure from Townsville Airport at 6AM for Sydney, then flying direct into Dallas (Texas) after a 16 hour 44 minute hopefully non-stop flight across the vast Pacific Ocean – the largest and deepest on earth.

There’s some very good and compelling reasons for this route. The biggest one being able to hang out with Mike &amp Bekah (my brother and sister in-law) and their family for the first time in over a decade.

The second consideration is that I bypass all the bullshit and head-fucks associated in trying get through customs and immigration in either Los Angeles or San Francisco – at their peak west coast flight traffic times. I would then have at least another 3 hour layover, then clearing airport security again in catching a flight to Boise (Idaho) or Dallas ….. and that’s if there are no delays or hassles, which my shit magnet seems to willingly attract.

So, you can see why I’m more than willing to suck up the initial extra two hours in making the nearly 17 hour “bum-number” to bypass L.A. and arrive in Dallas just after lunch, which is technically off-peak for most airports.

With any kind of luck, after 23 hours and 49 minutes of my first flights departure, I should be in & out of the Avis facilities in good time and on my way to Mike & Bekah’s without much delay or hassle.

Strap yourselves in & brace yourselves folks ….. here we go – we’re wheels up in two hours!

TOWNSVILLE – Queensland, Australia

By my reckoning, this time next week I’ll be somewhere over the Australian eastern seaboard, heading down to Sydney for my 16-hour flight to Dallas Texas in the US. I’m fairly certain by this stage I have everything sorted – my tickets are in hand, transportation and most accommodations are all confirmed, which leaves me couple of days to sort out my camera equipment, my one travel bag and the backpack with the electronic equipment like my laptop, iPad and media player.

In finalising my American Airlines US flights, I received a nice little surprise in the itinerary. The bottom of each flight listing was accompanied with large red lettering stating “you are required to pay US$25 for your first piece of check-in baggage at US$35 for the second”. This had me sending a query to my travel agent, who advises that this is the norm with US air travel now. The airlines only want to move bodies not baggage, as is no money to be earned humping somebody’s clothing around the skies. This little “Oh BTW” will probably end up costing me another couple hundred bucks, but what do you do???

I’m pretty certain this week is going live passed really quickly as I’ve got three major projects that I’ve gotta get sorted, as well as cleaning up the server transition from yesterday. Truth be told, I’d but rather be flat out busy than sitting watching the clock – being all antsy in trying to get on the “kerosene canary” plane around 6 AM next Saturday.

TOWNSVILLE – Queensland, Australia

As you can well imagine, the upcoming 73 day “2019 Taco’s & Toucan’s trip has taken a fair amount of research, planning and effort to hopefully allow me to simply relax and enjoy what six countries, across two continents, have to offer with my proposed itinerary.

The last piece of the puzzle fell into place this afternoon, when I was able to pick up the Cuba Tourist Card from the post office. Imagine to my surprise that after paying $117AUD and lodging my application at 4:49AM that I received an approval notification at 8:19AM and then at 10:32AM the Cuban Embassy emailed me that my visa was in the mail and provided a tracking number.

Barely two days later, the visa was here in my post box in Townsville some 1,440 miles (2,265 kilometres) to the north. Here I’m now thinking I should get the Cuban’s the send more of my freight, with that kind of turn around.